It's been weeks since I've seen any shred rummy meet of light, trapped down below the surface of a group-modded Skyblock server. My so-called friends all roam the top layer of dirt working on their factory chicken farm, but I haven't been able to see any progress at all—I've just heard of all the wondrous miracles being performed up above.
Someone always gets left behind, even in the age of science, and this time, it's me, sacrificed to the silk mines to kill worms for dirt so the topsiders can carry on expanding their precious chicken farm.
If the price is right
They had everything they needed: food, chickens, and an endless supply of dirt. But one thing they hadn't got their grubby hands on yet was an endless pot of XP for enchanting the chicken eggs (I don't actually know why this was necessary, but from what I heard, it was a vital part of the factory process). So, with this knowledge, I pitched a compromise: I got allowed back on the surface, and they would get their mob farm for endless XP.
To my surprise, the topsiders went for it and allowed me back on the surface to make them a mob farm. I was surprisingly underwhelmed with what they had achieved so far with all my dirt. It turns out that they had been bickering about whose plan for the factory would be best, so much so that all they had made was a skeleton factory and a chicken run.
Despite their failures, I made quick work of the mod farm. I've constructed hundreds of these over the years, and I know the schematics by heart. The only problem was I forgot to tell them not to break any of the bottom blocks where you kill the mobs to collect the XP, although I thought this went without saying.
After only a day or so, someone got too excited at the prospect of collecting XP and tore open a hole at the base of the mob farm, unleashing hordes of zombies, skeletons, and creepers into the chicken factory. Before I knew it, there was no more topside—as creepers blew craters in the Skyblock base, obliterating everything, even some of my dirt farm. The whole ordeal didn't end until someone had the quick thinking to simply log off and then briefly turn the world to Peaceful. But the damage was already done.
Predictably, I was blamed for this blunder just like I was 10 years ago, and after some infighting, we all decided we ought to give factory sims a rest for a while as we weren't even cut out for the simplest form of sim, Minecraft. Although I rest easy knowing that even if I didn't manage to make rummy new app impressive technical advancements, I did my job mining dirt well enough.